Lily in Love
by maya selene
Summary: lily's in love and james is fairly clueless.


The dress was pink, frilly, and covered in little bows and pearls. Lily wondered vaguely whether she should use magic to fix it and risk getting an official warning, but then decided it wasn't worth it and pulled it on, hoping she didn't look as stupid as she felt.  
"Lily? Are you ready yet?" her mother called from downstairs.  
"Yeah, I'm coming," Lily called back. She took one final look at herself in the mirror and ran down the stairs where her mum was waiting for her.  
"You've smudged your make-up, silly girl," Mum said, rubbing at her face. "Now, mind you behave yourself. I want everything to be perfect for Petunia's special day."  
"Yes, I know," Lily said, fidgeting around like a two- year- old. "You've told me a million times already."  
Mum smiled, getting all misty-eyed. "I just can't believe it. It seems like yesterday she was just a little girl playing Mothers and Fathers with her dolls. Now she's getting married and having a family of her own." She dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief.  
Just then, her father walked into the room with his camera.  
"Where's my special girl?" he roared. "Where's my little sugar-muffin daughter?"  
"Coming, dad," called Petunia's voice down the stairs. A few minutes later she emerged from her room, walking slowly down the stairs for a grand entrance and simpering for the camera. Lily looked at her and almost gagged. Petunia's dress was worse then hers. A thousand times worse.  
It was huge and white and frothy and stuck so far out that she could barely walk down the staircase without getting stuck. It was covered little embroidered flowers, and frills, bows, pearls and sequins.  
Mum clapped her hands. "You look so beautiful," she said, wiping more tears from her eyes. "But we'd better be getting outside now, the guests are waiting."  
"Yes, we'd better," Lily said and quickly rushed outside before she could start laughing.  
What an end it was going to be for the holidays, she thought to herself, looking up at the blue sky and wishing she were somewhere else. Tomorrow she'd be back on the Hogwarts Express, ready to complete her final year of learning there. Apart from the fact she liked Hogwarts, she wanted to get back to see her friends there, she hadn't heard from them for nearly three months.  
She had asked if they could be invited to the wedding as well, but Petunia had put her foot down.  
"I am NOT having THOSE FREAKS coming here to mess up MY WEDDING DAY!" she had shrieked, and that had been the end of that conversation.  
"Lily! Come on, the wedding's about to begin!" said a voice near her ear, and someone grabbed hold of her arm and dragged her away from the door where she was still standing.  
They stopped in front of a table bearing several bouquets of flowers, and Lily recovered enough to look up and see who had dragged her along. It was Marge Dursley, Vernon's sister, who was also going to be a bridesmaid and was wearing an identical pink dress.  
Marge picked up a pink bouquet and thrust it at her.  
"Just carry this along the isle," she said to her, "and do it like we rehearsed the other day. Got that?"  
Lily nodded. Just then she heard the organ music strike up, and everyone went quiet and looked down the isle at them. Lily slowly walked down the isle with Marge at her side, wishing everyone wasn't looking at her and feeling incredibly stupid. She reached the end of the isle and took her place near the altar. From there she could see Petunia's new husband, Vernon, in a navy blue suit. His neck was a dark shade of purple, probably from nerves, Lily thought to herself.  
Just then, she heard the wedding march strike up and looked down the isle at her sister. She walked slowly down there, smirking as she heard whispered comments go up and down the chairs saying things like, "Oh, doesn't she look lovely!" and, "What a nice couple those two make!"  
Lily was tempted to burst out laughing because Vernon was nearly twice the size of Petunia who was bony and thin.  
Petunia reached the end of the isle and stood next to Vernon, a happy smile on her face, and the minister began the sermon.  
Lily, who had heard it a thousand times before already, let her mind wander and plan her own wedding day.  
Definitely no pink, she thought to herself, eyeing the pink bouquets that seemed to be stuck on everything. Maybe blue... blue was a nice color. She could almost see her two best friends, Sara and Genevieve as bridesmaids, holding bouquets next to her. The best man would be... Sirius, she thought to herself. Yes, Sirius seemed like a good choice. Remus would be in the crowd, cheering them on and... who would be the groom?  
Lily looked thoughtfully at Vernon Dursley and tried to imagine someone else in his shoes. Suddenly, she could slowly see him getting thinner, and a bit shorter. His brown eyes became warmer, more friendly and were framed by a pair of round, green glasses. He had messy black and a teasing smile and wasn't wearing a suit at all, but nice, black dress robes. James?  
Lily blinked, and Vernon came into focus once more. No, Lily thought, shaking her head. She and James were just friends... though I wouldn't mind if we were more than just that, she thought dreamily. But James didn't seem to think of her in that way at all... she had sent him three owls on the holidays and he hadn't replied to a single one of them. She sighed and forced herself back to the wedding.  
"...you may now kiss the bride," the minister was saying. Lily watched as Vernon lifted up Petunia's veil and kissed her on the lips. The crowd whistled and applauded.  
Lily quickly left before she could throw up.  
*****  
The reception was boring. Petunia was still in her wedding down, taking photos. Lily wasn't allowed to be in any of them in case she broke the lens on the camera.  
She stared moodily at the wall, trying to imagine herself at Hogwarts again when a voice interrupted her.  
"Do you want to dance?" She looked up to see a short, stout boy with red hair and glasses looking up at her expectantly.  
"Um... no. I have to go to the bathroom," she said quickly hurried off, crashing into Petunia on the way out.  
"Watch where you're going, Freak show," Petunia hissed in her ear in her ear as she went past. "If you DARE spoil my wedding I'll never speak to you again."  
Lily was bursting to say that she didn't care if Petunia never spoke to her again, and it that it would probably make life a whole lot better if she didn't speak to her, but Petunia had already gone, this time to cut the cake.  
Lily watched as a crowd gathered around to watch her. Smiling dutifully for the cameras, Petunia, with Vernon at her side, began to cut the first slice of the cake.  
She doesn't deserve it, Lily thought furiously. She doesn't deserve to have a beautiful cake like that when she's always so horrible to me just because I'm a witch. It's all because of her my friends aren't allowed to stay for the Summer, or that I'm not allowed to practice magic at home. Lily stared hard at the figures on the cake so she wouldn't have to look at the real thing and took deep, calming breaths. One...two...  
BANG!  
Suddenly, the cake exploded into a million pieces, splattering everyone in the room with whipped cream and icing. For a moment, everyone just stood there, open mouthed in shock. Including Lily. It had been a long tome since she had lost control like that. Then Petunia burst into tears, screamed, "I HATE YOU, LILY BRONWELL," and ran out of the room.  
The room immediately burst into whispers. Everyone was looking at Lily. Lily could see her parents running towards her. They did not look happy.  
Oh, my God.  
*****  
Petunia was never speaking to her again. Her parents were still fuming over what she'd accidentally done. The tension in the car on way to the station was almost unbearable, and Lily nearly died with relief when her father finally pulled up next to it.  
Her dad helped her put her bags on a trolley and then left with a rather stiff kiss goodbye. Petunia refused to even go near her, and her mother had already said goodbye in the car. Lily began to push her trolley up to Platform nine and three quarters and hoped that her last year of school wasn't going to be as horrible as her holidays were.  
Suddenly, someone grabbed her from behind. Lily shrieked and almost let go of the trolley, but someone grabbed it just in time.  
"James!" Lily yelled, turning around and slapping him.  
"Surprise!" he said, his eyes twinkling.  
Lily felt her heart melt. He has gotten so cute over the holidays, she thought to herself. He had let his hair grow longer so that it flopped over his eyes, and he seemed to have grown even taller than he already was... Lily shook her head and reminded herself that James wasn't interested in her that way.  
"Where have you been all holidays?" she asked instead as they pushed their trolleys side by side to platform nine and three-quarters. "I wrote to you three times and you didn't write back once!"  
"I was staying at Sirius' house most of the time," James said, brushing his hair out of his eyes and grinning. "Playing Quidditch... I didn't have enough time to write back."  
"Boys," Lily muttered. "Always thinking about Quidditch and broomsticks..."  
James laughed. "Race you to the platform," he said and ran off with Lily chasing after him.  
"That's-not-fair," she panted as she ran. "You started before me!"  
The ran between platforms nine and ten and stumbled down onto platform nine and three quarters.  
Lily blinked and looked around her. The platform was bustling, as it usually was on September first. The Hogwarts Express stood waiting, occasional bursts of steam coming out of it as if it were impatient to get going. A nervous bunch of first years were standing near by, other groups of people were talking and laughing and harassed looking parents were chasing after their kids asking them if they'd remembered to bring extra robes in case their other ones got dirty.  
"Lily! James! Over here!" Lily looked to see who was calling. It was her best friend, Genevieve Gobswopped who was hanging out the window waving at them.  
"Come on," she said to James and both of them dragged their suitcases into the carriage and slammed the door shut. Lily sank into a seat between Genevieve and Sara LaBeema, a girl who shared a dorm with her.  
James' best friends, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were sitting across from them, and so was Peter Pettigrew who was in a corner looking squashed and muttering to himself. Lily didn't pay much attention to him though, no one did.  
"Hi, Lily," said Sirius. "Guess what?" He jerked his thumb towards James. "He's Head Boy."  
For the first time, Lily noticed the silver badge pinned to his robes and felt her jaw drop. "You are?" she squeaked.  
"Yeah," he said. Then he noticed the expression on her face. "What's up with you, Lil?"  
Lily cleared her throat. "Oh, nothing," she said. Then she asked, "Do you know who Head Girl is?"  
"No idea." James' brow furrowed and he suddenly looked panicked. "It's not Patricia Malfoy is it?"  
"Um, no. Actually, it's me." Everyone stared at her. Sirius raised his eyebrows.  
"Well, this is a surprise," he said. "Why didn't you tell us before?"  
Lily shrugged. "It didn't seem that big a deal. Anyway..." she said, quickly changing the subject, "what have you guys been up to all holidays?"  
"Well, on the first day back I slipped some of Filibuster's Fireworks into my dad's garage to see how fast it would blow up, except this little kid who lives next door to us came around to see if she could borrow a couple of eggs for her mother's cake, saw the fireworks, picked one up and got blown up clear across town and into a lake where a giant squid pushed her back out," said Sirius.  
Everyone stared at him.  
"That was a good story, Sirius," said Lily nodding. "Except for one thing."  
"What's that?"  
"Your dad doesn't have a garage."  
"Oh." Sirius thought for a moment. "But it would have been funny if it had actually happened."  
Just then the train started up and began to chug over the countryside towards Hogwarts.  
"So how were your holidays, Lily? It was Petunia's wedding yesterday, wasn't it?" Sara asked her.  
Lily moaned and flopped back in her chair. "Don't ask," she said.  
But the others begged and pestered her so much that she gave in and told them the story of how the cake blew up in everyone's faces till they were all rolling around laughing.  
"It wasn't funny!" Lily said. "Now my parents are mad and Petunia's never speaking to me again. As if things weren't bad enough between us already!"  
"Oh look, we're here!" Sara said as the train suddenly slowed and stopped. They all piled out of the train.  
"Firs' year over here!" someone called. Lily looked and saw it was Hagrid, the school's enormous gameskeeper. He winked at her, then went back to making sure all the first years were safe.  
She felt someone tugging her arm. It was James. "We've got to get a carriage," he said, and pulled her away from the crowd and into a carriage with the rest of the group.  
Lily stared up at the castle as they approached. She still couldn't quite believe that this was going to be her last year at Hogwarts, the last year of learning magic with all her friends and sneaking around under James' Invisibility Cloak after dark to play pranks on the Slytherins.  
"Lily?"  
Lily blinked. James was staring at her with a bemused look on his face. "What?"  
"Well, I've just asked you the same thing three times now, but you keep staring off as if you're a million miles away."  
"Oh, sorry." Lily shook her head. "What's up?"  
"I was just asking if you were worried about the N.E.W.Ts."  
Lily scrunched up her nose, thinking. "No, not really. I'm only worried about Potions, it's my worst subject by far. How about you? Are you worried?"  
"Not at all," said James looking perfectly relaxed.  
"I am," Remus said, joining in the conversation. Lily noticed he still looked pale and tired. He got sick very frequently, but Lily didn't like to ask much about it as he always seemed rather touchy about the subject. "I never can seem to remember how many porcupine quills you put into a vanquishing potion."  
"We'll help you," said Sirius who, like James, wasn't in the least bit worried.  
"I don't know how you two can always pull so many pranks and still come top of the year level," Genevieve grumbled half-heartedly.  
Sirius grinned. "Our secret."  
"Yeah, right," Lily said, yawning. "Oh look, we're here. Now let's get inside so we can watch the Sorting. And no food fights this time, alright?"  
*****  
Life went on as it normally did at Hogwarts, though Lily noticed a definite increase in the work she had to do. She was working flat out just to get through all her homework and Lily couldn't imagine where Sirius and James got the time to pull all the pranks they did and still get everything done.  
"Don't you guys ever study?" she asked one night in the common room as they began up a very noisy game of exploding snap.  
"Nope," said Sirius grinning. Just then, the cards blew up with an especially loud bang making everyone jump.  
"Oh no," Peter moaned as ink spilled all over his parchment. "You've ruined my essay!"  
Sirius glanced over at it. "It's all wrong anyway. Wingardium Leviosa is the charm to make things fly, not Accio. We learnt that in our first year!"  
"I just can't remember all these incantations!" said poor Peter, scrunching up his parchment and getting a new one out. "There's too many!."  
"Let me help you, Peter," said Lily, very generously as Peter was the worst Charms student imaginable and had been known to blow things up while doing the simplest Charm.  
As she worked with Peter, she listened to the boys conversation, who were sitting behind her, starting up a game of wizarding chess.  
"Are you taking anyone to Hogsmeade with you tomorrow?" James asked Sirius, moving his pawn who kept shouting stupid pieces of advice to him.  
"Emma Levi," Sirius said. "She's that cute Hufflepuff seeker."  
"Oh, I know her," James said. "She's a pretty good player."  
"Who are you taking?"  
"Oh, I'm going with Chu Chang... she's a Ravenclaw. We're going to watch a Potions demonstration in the Hogsmeade Hall."  
"You asked her to watch a Potions demonstration with you?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows. "What a romantic."  
"She asked me actually," said James going a bit red.  
"And you said yes?"  
"Only because I had nothing else to do."  
"Sure, Prongs." Sirius stretched and yawned. "I'm going up to bed. Coming?"  
"No, I think I'll stay a while longer."  
"Okay. G'night." Sirius swept the protesting chess pieces into the box, put on the lid, and dragged himself up the stairs to the boys dormitories. A short while later, Peter had said he was finished with his essay and followed Sirius up the staircase, leaving Lily and James alone in the common room.  
"So," Lily said with a small smile, sliding down on the floor next to James. "You're going to Hogsmeade with Chu Chang tomorrow?"  
"Yeah." James looked up at her. "How did you know?"  
"I was listening to you and Sirius while I was helping Peter," she said. She was silent for a while, and then she said, "Chu's pretty nice."  
"Yeah. She is."  
"Is there any other reason why you're going with her, besides the fact that she asked you?"  
"Why do you care?"  
"You're my friend. I'm supposed to care."  
"You've never taken much interest in my love life before."  
"It's never been this interesting."  
James smiled. "I like Chu."  
"As more than a friend?"  
"I don't know. I haven't known her very long, have I?"  
"I heard she's a real intellectual. Always talking about Charms and Potions and stuff. You never see her head out a book."  
James laughed. "Are you trying to put me off her or something?"  
Lily looked at him innocently. "Would I do a thing like that?"  
"Probably not." James got up and stretched. "I'm going to bed."  
"I should go up as well," Lily said, getting to her feet. She was halfway up the stair case when she heard James call her back.  
"Lil?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Are you going to Hogsmeade with anyone tomorrow?"  
"Probably just with Genevieve and Sara. Why?"  
James shrugged. "Just wondering. Good night."  
"'Night, James," she said, and ran the rest of the way up the stair case.  
*****  
The next day, Lily was in Honeydukes, stuffing her pockets full of lollies from the counter with Sara and Genevieve.  
"Let's go to the Three Broomsticks next," Sara suggested. "I feel like some Butterbeer right now."  
Genevieve nodded in a agreement so the three of them walked out of Honeydukes, their pockets heavier, but their money bags considerably lighter.  
Genevieve and Sara were talking animatedly about something or other, but Lily didn't feel like joining in the conversation. She looked around her instead, admiring the way people had decorated the shop's windows for Halloween. Then she saw a sight that made her freeze.  
It was James, and he was walking arm in arm down the street with Chu Chang. He was talking, and she was laughing and flicking her hair back.  
She's prettier than me, Lily thought to herself, staring at Chu's straight black hair and brown eyes. She doesn't have all this red hair to tame. And she plays Quidditch too... James likes talking about Quidditch, maybe he would like me more if I joined the team...  
"Lily? What are you staring at?" Genevieve asked her.  
"What?" said Lily startled. "Oh, nothing. Let's go and get some of that Butterbeer, shall we?" And she marched ahead of them while Genevieve and Sara exchanged puzzled looks behind her back.  
*****  
Lily looked at her watch. It was late, and James still wasn't back from Hogsmeade yet.  
He's probably having too much fun to even think about coming back, Lily thought to herself moodily. She picked up her favorite Muggle book, "Little Woman," and went to take a seat in front of the fire in the common room. A few minutes later, she fell asleep.  
*****  
Lily didn't know who the baby was, but one thing was certain, she had to take care of him. She took him upstairs, into her room, and lay him down.  
He looks like James, she realized, except for his eyes. He has my eyes.  
Suddenly she heard a laugh. It was a horrible, mirthless laugh the filled the room and chilled her to the bone. She heard someone scream. Then--  
"Lily?"  
Lily jumped. She realized that she was still sitting in front of the fire, book in her lap, and that James was standing over her.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yeah... I was just having a dream." She moved over on the chair and James squeezed in next to her. "How'd you go on the big date?"  
James moaned and slumped against the chair. "Don't ask."  
"What happened?"  
"Well, we got to the demonstration. The demonstrator walked in. And he talked. And he talked. And he talked some more. I fell asleep. And when I woke up, everyone had left, including Chu." He sighed dismally. Lily had to smile.  
"So she wasn't your dream girl?"  
"Definitely not."  
"It's okay. I'm sure you'll find someone else."  
"You think?"  
"Of course. There's a perfect match for everybody."  
"What if your one true love dies? Does that mean you'll never fall in love again?"  
"Not sure. It's not up to us to decide after all."  
"Do you think that God really exists?"  
Lily shrugged. "Someone has to be up there controlling everything."  
James sighed. "I suppose. It just seems sort of weird."  
"Why's that?"  
"Dunno. Everything's weird."  
"Only to you, my dear Jamesy boy," she said. James laughed.  
"A guy needs a friend a like you, Lil."  
"What for?"  
"Just to keep his feet on the ground." He yawned and got up. "I'm going up to bed now."  
"I might stay a bit longer," Lily said, moving over a bit.  
"Lil?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Do me a favor and don't tell Sirius about my date tonight."  
Lily laughed. "Wouldn't dream of it."  
"That's good. Because I'd kill you if you did."  
Lily laughed again. "Good night, James," she said, then she turned back to the fire and fell right back to sleep again.  
James smiled. Then he picked up a blanket and threw it over her. "'Night, Lily," he said, and went up to bed.  
*****  
In History of Magic, everyone was concentrating very hard on trying not to fall asleep. Peter had already given up and was snoring softly behind a pile of books, Genevieve and Sara were staring bleary eyed at the blackboard and Sirius was yawning and trying not to laugh at Peter who had drool hanging over the side of his mouth. Lily and James were sitting at the back of the classroom talking.  
"Are you staying at Hogwarts this year for Christmas?" James asked her while Professor Binns ranted on about the Salem Witch Hunts.  
"Yeah." Lily yawned. "Anything to avoid Petunia. And my parents."  
"We'll be the only ones staying."  
Lily swiveled around to look at him. "How do you know?"  
"Well, Sirius has to go to Switzerland with his parents this year and Genevieve and Sara both have big wizarding families they have to spend Christmas with. Peter never stays at Hogwarts anyway, so it's just me and you."  
"What about Remus?"  
"He's been feeling a bit off color so he's going home."  
"He's often sick, isn't he?"  
James shrugged. "Have you put your name down yet?"  
"I'll do it tomorrow."  
Just then, Professor Binn's voice cut through their conversation. "Miss Bronwell. Mr Potter. When you've quite finished talking, you can copy down these dates on the board."  
Lily sighed, pulled out fresh parchment and began to write.  
*****  
On Christmas morning, Lily woke up to find a barn owl swooping around the room, carrying a parcel that was obviously meant for her.  
She untied it, sent the owl off, and began unwrapping the present, which turned out to be from Petunia and Vernon. It was a book about cockroaches and other house hold pests. Lily couldn't imagine why Petunia had sent it to her. She put it aside and went to open her other presents which, luckily, were much more satisfactory.  
From her parents she had gotten a new set of dress robes, from Sara, a new bag in which to put her money in, from Genevieve, a necklace which changed color according to her mood, from Sirius, a bag full of tricks from Zonkos, from Remus, a new set of eagle feather quills, and from James, a book called, "Charms to Make Your Enemies Twitch, Jump and Scream." Lily put this aside, grinning, and thinking it would probably become useful in using against James and Sirius when they were planning to play some horrible trick on her. Peter hadn't gotten her anything at all which was fine because Lily didn't think much of his presents anyway.  
Just then, James bounded into the room all tousle haired and sleepy eyed with Christmas paper sticking to his robes.  
"Merry Christmas," he said, jumping onto her bed. "Wow. Who got you this?" he asked, inspecting the necklace.  
"Genevieve," Lily said. "Your robes are on back to front, do you know that?"  
"Yeah, it's a thing I usually do on Christmas Day," said James yawning. "Coming down for breakfast?"  
"Yeah, as soon as I've gotten dressed," she said.  
"I'll wait for you downstairs," James said and bounded right out of the room again. Lily shook her head after him, cleared away the wrapping paper and started getting changed.  
After breakfast, James and Lily spent most of the day in the common room playing very noisy games of exploding snap (the card kept going off very violently every few seconds), and throwing things into the fire to see what happened. They stopped after James put in the entire packet of fireworks he'd gotten from Sirius and nearly blew the roof off.  
Lunch was turkey sandwiches and pumpkin juice, and after they'd eaten their fill of that, they went back to the common room to slide down the bannisters.  
After dinner it had stopped snowing, and everything looked so white and Christmassy that Lily decided she would go outside to see if she could find some holly to hang in her dormitory. She was wondering around the edge of the Forbidden Forest when she felt a snowball hit her from behind and slide down her robes.  
"Hey!" she yelled, and turned around to see James laughing a few feet away. He only stopped when she gathered a whole handful of snow and dumped it down his robes.  
This was followed by a fast and furious snow fight which only ended when Lily flopped down on the ground declaring she'd had enough.  
James sat down beside her for a few minutes before grabbing her arm and pulling her back up.  
"Let's go for a walk," he said.  
They walked around the forest for a bit then came back and walked around the edge of the lake. They sat there for a while, back -to- back supporting each other, and talked about God, the moon, Transfiguration, Grindylows, the Ministry of Magic, Professor Vector, the Wizarding Wireless, food, house-elves, Hagrid, his hut, graduation, Quidditch, Spain, Uruguay, Ireland, Muggle antidotes, the Daily Prophet and Christmas Trees, in that order.  
"Do you believe in wishes on stars?" Lily asked James.  
"No, not really. Wishes never come true. At least not for me." James looked up at the sky. The moon was already up, a full, glowing silver orb hanging above the Forbidden Forest. He would have thought it was beautiful he hadn't known what it did to one of his best friends. "We should be heading back to the castle."  
"Just stay a bit longer," Lily said. She was really too comfortable to be bothered getting up. They were silent for a while, then Lily said, "James?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Can I ask you something?"  
"Anything."  
"Do you think I'm pretty?"  
James turned his around to look at her. "Does it matter?"  
"To me it does."  
He thought for a moment. "I think you're beautiful."  
"Really?"  
He looked at her innocently. "Would I lie to you?"  
"Yes!" She laughed, turned around and slapped him. Then she grew quiet again. James looked at her and sighed.  
"We really should go now."  
"Yeah." Lily pulled herself up. "Agh! My bum's wet."  
"Mine's already numb."  
Lily laughed. "We need to get back to the fire and dry our robes."  
"Say it, sister," James agreed. He got up. "Race you back to the castle," he said and scooted off with Lily chasing after him.  
*****  
Soon, everyone was back at school again and the castle was bustling once more. Lily was walking back from Astronomy one afternoon when she saw a crowd of people standing around a bulletin board, chattering excitedly. Lily saw Sara in the crowd and waved at her.  
"What's going on?" Lily asked after Sara had pushed her way out and joined her. They began walking back down the corridor towards the Gryffindor common room.  
"There's going to be a ball in a few weeks," Sara said excitedly.  
"What?" said Lily. "Why?"  
Sara shrugged. "I don't know. Who cares anyway? I hope Cyril Diggory asks me, he has gotten so cute." She giggled. "Who do you want to go with?"  
"Um... no one in particular," Lily lied. She knew exactly who she'd like to go with. But did he want to go with her?  
"I've got to go to the library," Sara said. "Get some stuff for Transfiguration. I'll see you later, okay?"  
"K. Bye," Lily said as Sara went off in the opposite direction.  
Lily thought to herself as she headed up the common room. Would James say yes if she asked him to the Ball?  
*****  
Potions was usually Lily's worst subject, but today turned out to be even more horrible than usual. Professor Halliway had assigned them all partners to do Vanishing Potions with, and everyone knew it was Professor Halliway's life long dream to make every person he came across miserable.  
Please don't let me be with Peter, please don't let me be with Peter, Lily thought to herself as Professor Halliway read down the list.  
"Potter, you will partner Miss Malfoy, Black, you will be with Malcolm Zambini, Miss Bronwell will be partnering Severus Snape..."  
Lily groaned inwardly. The only thing that was worst than being partners with Peter was partnering Snape. Snape was the best Potions student in the school. Not to mention the ugliest, nastiest and the most horrible. And there was also the fact that he was James' worst enemy.  
But for some reason, Snape was nice to her for the entire lesson, and didn't even yell at her when she added too many porcupine quills to the potion and it began bubbling fiercely. They were the first finished, and Lily was mopping up some armadillo bile she had accidentally spilt on the table when Snape took a deep breath and said, "Lily?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Do you want to go to the ball with me next week?"  
Lily nearly fell over. Could it be that Severus Snape, the hater of Gryffindors, one of her best friend's worst enemies, actually had a crush on her? It had to be some sort of joke. Lily looked up at him and saw that Snape's eyes were bright with hope. Nah. It couldn't be.  
"Um... well, you see, Severus," she said carefully, "I'm, um.... already going with someone else. Sorry," she added quickly, seeing the disappointed look on his face.  
"Oh. That's right," he muttered, looking down at the ground. To Lily's immense relief, the bell went and she quickly gathered her books and began to make her way towards the door.  
"Hey, Lily?" Snape called her back.  
"Yeah?" she said, turning around.  
"Who are you going with?"  
"Oh... just a friend," Lily said vaguely and quickly got out of there before Snape could ask her any more embarrassing questions.  
*****  
Lily was working on her Transfiguration homework when a group of sixth year girls came up to sit behind her. One of them, a pretty blond girl with blue eyes, was especially pink and giggly.  
"Oh, you'll never believe you came up to me after Divination today," she said, her eyes bright with excitement.  
"Who?" her friends chorused.  
"James Potter!"  
"No!"  
"Yes! He wanted to know if I wanted to go on a date with him this Friday night! He said he'd organize tea for us by the lake... he's a such a romantic." The girl sighed.  
"What did you say, Harriet?" one of her friends asked her, leaning forward eagerly.  
"I said yes, of course," Harried said, giggling.  
"You lucky thing," her friend said enviously.  
"I know," Harriet said dreamily.  
"Let's go up to the dormitory to organize what you're going to wear," one of her friends suggested. They all got up to go and the dormitory became quiet once more.  
Lily sat in her chair, quill poised above parchment but not writing anything. She squeezed her eyes shut tight.  
I am not jealous, I am not jealous, she thought to herself.  
She put away her books. Somehow, she didn't feel like studying any more.  
*****  
"So. Do you want to go to the ball with me?"  
Lily squirmed uncomfortably. Gregory Griffith was a fifth year Gryffindor who was even shorter than her. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but....  
"You know, Gregory, I've really got to go," she said, edging towards the door. "I'll see you later, okay?"  
"Will you think about it?" he demanded, still staring at her.  
"Um... yeah," she lied. "I'll see you later, okay?"  
And she dashed out the library door before he could say anything else to her and set off down the corridor to the common room.  
It was quite late and Lily was carrying a load of books under her arm. She had left her Defense Against the Dark Arts homework quite late and was taking everything back to the dormitory with her. She reached the portrait to the common room just as someone came plowing out of it, knocking all the books out of her hands.  
"Hey--watch it!" she said as whoever it was went scurrying down the corridor. She turned around and Lily saw that it was Harriet DaSilver, the girl James had asked on his date that night.  
"Oh, sorry," Harriet said breathlessly, and was about to turn back when Lily called after her.  
"Did you have fun on your date with James tonight?"  
"Oh. You knew about that?" she said. Her eyes suddenly went dreamy. "We had the most wonderful time... it was so romantic. I wouldn't be surprised if he asks me to the ball next week." She grinned. "Well, see you later, I've got to see Professor Flitwick about some extra work on Hover Charms." She disappeared down the corridor.  
Lily picked up her books and entered the common room, kicking things out of her way as she made her way up the stairs.  
Stupid quill, she thought. Stupid parchment, stupid ink bottle, stupid book, stupid pencil case...  
She walked into the dormitory, slammed the door shut and tried to study for a few hours except she found that her mind kept wondering to James and Harriet and exactly what they had been doing tonight...  
Lily sighed and put down her quill. She got dressed into her pyjamas, drew the blankets up around her and fell asleep.  
*****  
Lily was deep into another dream. Unlike the first one, the day was bright and sunny, and she was walking slowly down an isle, with lots of people on either side of her watching. They were all smiling, and organ music was playing in the background, but Lily didn't seem to care about that, she had eyes only for a tall figure dressed in handsome black dress robes that was standing at the end of the isle. He turned around slowly to smile at her, and--  
"Lily?"  
Lily opened her eyes and looked to see who had spoken. To her shock she found herself staring straight into a pair of brown eyes, identical to the ones in her dream, and jumped.  
"Shh. It's only me," James whispered, coming in closer so she could see him. "Can I come in?"  
"Yeah," Lily said. She moved over to give him space and he hopped in next to her. "What are you doing up here so late?" she asked, once he was settled. He shrugged.  
"I just needed someone to talk to," he said.  
"Okay." Lily yawned. "What about?"  
"Oh, just things." He was silent for a while, then he said, "Lily, what do you want to be when we finish school?"  
"What?" Lily said, surprised at the question. "Oh, I don't know.... haven't really thought about it."  
"But if you had to chose right now, what would you be?" James persisted. He seemed serious about the question, so Lily thought about it for a moment.  
"A chimney sweep."  
"A what?" James asked, laughing.  
"A chimney sweep. I always wanted to be a chimney sweep, ever since I watched Mary Poppins on TV." She started singing:  
"Chim-chimeny, chim-chimeny,  
Chim-chim che-ree  
A sweep is as lucky,  
As lucky can be..."  
James smiled and joined in.  
"Chim-chimeny, chim-chimeny,  
Chim-chim che-roo  
Good luck will rub off  
If I shake hands with you.  
Just blow me a kiss  
And that's lucky too.  
Now that the ladder of life has been spun  
You may think that sweeps  
Are on the bottom most rung,  
Where there's hardly no day  
And there's hardly no night  
On the roof tops of London--  
Coo, what a sight!"  
Lily laughed. "I didn't know you watched Muggle TV."  
James rolled his eyes. "My dad was obsessed with Muggle things. He used to bring home refrigerators and microwaves and things like that... used to drive my mother nuts."  
"What happened to him... your dad?"  
"He died when I was eight," James said shortly. "Heart attack."  
"Oh. I'm sorry."  
"It's okay."  
After a moment, Lily said, "What would you be? If you had to chose at this very second?"  
"I want to be an auror."  
Lily's eyes widened slightly and she looked at him. "That's a big responsibility."  
James nodded. "Yeah. It is."  
"Why though? Why would you want to be one?"  
"Haven't you heard... Voldemort's getting stronger," James said quietly. "Do you know who Kylie Randall is?"  
"The Ravenclaw girl who came top of Arithmancy last year?"  
"Yeah. That's her. She was Muggle-born, you know. The only witch in her family."  
"What happened?"  
"Voldemort went to her house. Killed her entire family." James' voice was expressionless. "Her parents, her Muggle sister and brother. All of them, just like that."  
"That's horrible," Lily whispered, staring up at the canopy of her bed. She thought for a moment, and then a horrible feeling of dread swept over her. "You know, I'm Muggle-born too."  
"Oh, Lily." James hand found hers in the darkness and squeezed tightly. "Voldemort won't do anything to you. I won't let him."  
"It's not me I'm worried about," Lily whispered, thinking about her parents and even Petunia.  
They were silent for a while, each thinking their own thoughts, when James suddenly turned to her and said in a lighter tone of voice, "So. Have you got a partner for the ball next week?"  
Lily shook her head, thinking about the other thing that had been worrying her mind lately. "No. I haven't got anyone."  
"Me neither." James eyes went dreamy. "Though I do have a certain girl in mind..."  
"Harriet DaSilver?" Lily asked.  
James blanched. "No. No way! You should have heard her on our date this evening. She was all like, 'James, do you think my hair looks better like this, or like that? Do you like my dress robes, James? James, do you think blue looks better on me or pink?'"  
Lily had to laugh. "Oh. Well, she seems to think you're going to ask her to the ball next week."  
James looked horrified. "Where'd she get that idea from?"  
Lily shrugged and smiled. "So... who's this other girl you've got on your mind?"  
"Just someone I know," said James mysteriously. "And like. How about you? Is there someone you especially want to go with?"  
Lily turned away. "Maybe."  
"Going to tell me who it is?"  
"No."  
"Why not?"  
"You wouldn't believe me anyway."  
"Can I guess?"  
Lily shrugged. "You can try."  
James thought for a moment. "Is he smart?"  
"Yes."  
"Funny?"  
"Yes."  
"Cute?"  
"Incredibly."  
James thought a few moments longer. "Do I know him?"  
Lily smiled into her pillows. "Yes."  
"What do you like most about him?"  
"His smile."  
James suddenly looked horrified. "It's not... it's not Sirius, is it?"  
"No!" Lily said laughing. James looked at her.  
"Well, that's a relief," he said. He yawned. "Are you going to ask him to go the ball with you?"  
"No."  
"Why not?"  
"Because he doesn't know I like him. Well, not in that way, anyway."  
"Do you think he likes you back?"  
Lily stared into the darkness. "No. I don't think so," she said quietly.  
"Then he doesn't know what he's missing," James said. He yawned again and stretched. "Since I'm obviously not going to guess who this dream guy is, I'd better be heading back to my own bed."  
"Yeah. You'd better," Lily agreed.  
James got up. He had just reached the door when Lily called him back.  
"James?"  
He turned back. "Yeah?"  
"You said before you wouldn't let Voldemort hurt me."  
"I know."  
"Why?"  
James stared at her, puzzled. "Because you're my friend of course," he said.  
"Oh. Never mind. Just... go," she said. James shook his head and left.  
"G'night, Lily."  
"'Night," she said. She watched him close the door behind him, then turned over with a sigh.  
Yes. They were just friends.  
But couldn't James see she wanted to be more than just that?  
*****  
"...and for homework tonight you can right an essay about animal transformations. Must be two feet long and handed in next week. No excuses."  
The class groaned but Professor McGonagall ignored them. Then the bell went and the class filed out.  
Lily was about to leave but someone called her back.  
"Hey--Lily!"  
She turned back. It was James. He was grinning from ear to ear.  
"What?"  
"Can you just stay behind for a few minutes? I want to tell you something."  
"Yeah, okay," Lily said, moving back and waiting inside the classroom. James was fidgeting impatiently, obviously waiting for the last person to go out.  
Lily wondered vaguely why he had called her back. The ball was in two days and she still had to get a partner... she had already told Snape and Gregory Griffen that she had one and couldn't exactly back out now.  
Finally, the last person went out the door and James closed it behind them. Then he turned back to Lily.  
"What's the big secret?" she asked him. He grinned.  
"It's about the ball," he said.  
Suddenly, Lily felt an unexpected bud of hope blossom up inside her. All this secrecy... it was obvious that James didn't want to overheard. And he wanted to talk about the ball. Could it be... could it be that he was going to ask to go with her? Maybe all this time he'd been love with her just like she'd been in love with him...  
"Yes," she said, almost breathlessly. "What about the ball?"  
"I asked her," James said. "And she said yes!"  
"What?" said Lily blankly. "Who said yes?"  
James laughed. "Rhiannon Dumsh. She's a Hufflepuff girl... chaser on their Quidditch team. I asked her to go to the ball with me before the lesson and she said yes!"  
Suddenly, Lily felt like laughing. Or crying. She didn't know which. Of course James wasn't going to ask her to the ball. He was the most wanted bachelor in all of Hogwarts, why would he chose her over everyone else?  
She forced a smile and said, "Congratulations."  
"Yeah," James said, still grinning. "I still can't believe she agreed... I thought for sure she'd be taken already."  
"I suppose you just got lucky," Lily said.  
"You could say that," James said chuckling. "So how about you? Have you asked your dream guy to the dance yet?"  
"No," Lily muttered, staring at the ground, but James didn't seem to notice her discomfort.  
"Well, you'd better hurry up before he gets taken... see you later," he added and he bounded out the door and slammed it shut after him.  
Lily slowly sat herself down on a table near the front of the room.  
Lily, she thought to herself. Lily, you stupid, stupid girl. Did you really think that James would ask you to go to the ball with you? Of course not. You're just friends. Deal with it.  
In a sudden burst of anger, Lily picked up her Transfiguration book and threw it at the door as hard as she could. It was that moment, Remus opened it. The book narrowly missed hitting him in the head.  
"Remus!" Lily said. "I'm so sorry... it just slipped out of my hands." It was here Lily was almost tempted to laugh. She was sitting all the way at the other end of the classroom, but Remus didn't say anything, just picked up the book, walked over, and handed it back to her. "Thanks," she muttered, not looking at him.  
"I forgot my books," he said. "That's why I came back." He reached over and took his books from where he had left them on the table behind where she was sitting.  
"Oh," Lily said, still not looking at him.  
Remus looked at her for a few seconds, then sat down on the table beside her. "Lily, is anything wrong?" he asked.  
"No. I'm perfectly fine," she said.  
Remus gave her a small smile. "People who are perfectly fine don't usually throw their Transfiguration books at the door."  
"I told you, it slipped."  
"From all the way to the other end of the classroom?"  
"Yeah. It's a thing that usually happens when you think the guy of your dreams is about to ask you out, and then you realize he's really in love with someone else."  
Lily burst into tears. Remus looked at her helplessly for a few minutes, then reached into his pocket and pulled out some tissues.  
'Want a tissue?" he offered.  
Lily took one from him and blew her nose. "Thanks," she muttered.  
"Going to tell me what's wrong?" Remus asked.  
Lily shook her head. "No," she said. Then the next thing she knew, she was pouring it all out to Remus, how she had fallen in love with James, but all James seemed to care about was asking girls out, every girl it seemed except for her, and how she had so badly wanted to go the ball with him but how he had asked Rhiannon Dumsh instead...  
Remus put an arm around he awkwardly and patted her on the back. "It's okay," he said quietly. "I'm sure he'll realize in time..."  
But Lily shook her head ruefully. "No. He doesn't love me... not in the way I love him, anyway. Oh, if I had to fall in love, why couldn't have been with you, Remus, or Sirius or--or even Peter! But... it's James, and he just doesn't have a clue!"  
She burst into a fresh flood of tears. Remus stayed with her until the tears subsided into quiet sobs, and then small hiccoughs.  
"Are you okay now?" he asked her, passing her another tissue.  
"Yeah. I'll be fine," she said, taking it from him and wiping her eyes. "Thanks, Remus."  
"For what?"  
"Just for always being there."  
"What are friends for?" he asked her with a small smile.  
Lily got up to leave, but before she reached the door, Remus called her back.  
"Lily."  
She turned around.  
"Do you want to go to the ball with me?" When Lily didn't answer right away, Remus felt himself blush. "Well, it just that I don't have a partner either, and I know I'm not James or anything, but... oh forget it, it was a stupid idea anyway," he muttered.  
Lily suddenly smiled. 'I'd like to go to the ball with you."  
Remus looked up. "Really?" he said.  
"Really," she laughed. "You're a good friend Remus, and I daresay you'd dance a hundred times better than that girl-crazed James Potter anyway."  
*****  
James, Sirius and Remus were in the common room waiting for the ball to start.  
"So," Sirius said to Remus. "Are you going to tell us who you're taking to the ball tonight?"  
"No," said Remus, squirming uncomfortably.  
"We told you who we're going with," James pointed out.  
"You're going to laugh at me."  
"No we won't," Sirius said. "I just really want to know who you're going with... you've never asked a girl out before."  
"We're just going as friends," Remus said.  
"Yeah, right," Sirius said, and was about to say more when a slight diversion interrupted them.  
Lily appeared at the top of the stair case of the girls dorm. But the tomboyish girl with the flyaway red hair had suddenly vanished, and there, in her place stood a mature girl of seventeen, wearing a hesitant smile as she walked slowly down the stair case.  
Sirius, James and Remus watched, open mouthed, as she proceeded. She was wearing robes of bottle green, her hair was swept up into an elegant twist, and somehow, she looked much taller than she really was, much older.... it looks as though people should be bowing down to her, James thought to himself. And the color of her robes really brought out her eyes... he had never really noticed what a lovely green they were until now. And her hair...  
Then he realized what he was thinking and shook himself. Um, hello, James? This is Lily you're talking about. LILY. The girl you've known for almost seven years. One of your best friends in the world. You are not meant to be having romantic feelings towards her now. So what if she looks really pretty tonight? Get over it, he told himself.  
As she went down the last of the stairs, Sirius let out a loud wolf whistle and pretended to faint.  
"Who are you? Such perfection cannot be achieved by a mere mortal.... are you an angel? A saint? A--"  
"Shut up, Sirius," Lily muttered, turning red. Sirius got up, grinning.  
"You really do look nice though... have you seen Sara? She's supposed to meet me down here."  
"Yeah, she's upstairs still getting ready," Lily said.  
Sirius rolled his eyes in disgust. "Girls getting ready. I could write a whole book on girls getting ready."  
Lily laughed and turned to Remus. "Shall we go?"  
Sirius suddenly burst out laughing. "Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're going with Lily?"  
Remus turned red. "I told you, we're just friends!"  
Sirius snorted. "Yeah, right."  
Remus rolled his eyes. "Let's go," he said to Lily, and he grabbed her arm and walked her to the portrait hole.  
James had the strangest feeling as they went through the hole together. Almost like...jealousy.  
James shook his head. What is up with you, Potter?  
*****  
"Ouch," Lily said as Remus stepped on her foot for the millionth time that evening.  
"Sorry," said Remus apologetically. "I keep tripping over my robes."  
"That's K," Lily said.  
He stepped on her toe again. Lily tried not to wince.  
"Um, can we sit down for a bit? I'm getting kind of tired."  
"Oh, sure," Remus said. They sat down at a table and watched the dancers.  
Lily tried hard not to look at James. He had looked exceptionally handsome that evening in dark blue dress robes, and his partner, a pretty curly-haired Hufflepuff girl by the name of Rhiannon Dumsh, was in pink. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealously when she looked in their direction, so for her own sake, she didn't.  
"Would you like to dance?"  
Lily looked up and saw a dark haired Ravenclaw girl staring straight at Remus. Remus was looking at her with a funny expression on her face. He turned to Lily.  
"Um... you don't mind do you?"  
"Go ahead," Lily said.  
With stars in his eyes, Remus went off with the Ravenclaw girl. Lily watched them dance the first dance. And the second dance. And the third dance. She yawned. It was getting very boring sitting by herself, but she didn't exactly want to go and take Remus off the girl when he was looking so happy.  
Just then, someone pulled out a chair next to her, and Lily turned to see who it was. It was James, and he was looking unusually dejected.  
"Hello," Lily said to him. "Where's Rhiannon Dumsh?"  
"She was using me," James said gloomily. "She just wanted to get close to Sirius." He gestured towards the dance floor. Lily turned her head and saw that Sirius was whirling Rhiannon around, and that she was giggling. Sara was watching them both with an absolutely furious look on her face. James sighed dismally.  
"Oh, poor James," Lily tried to say sympathetically, but inside she was smiling. Thank God Sirius is cute, Lily thought to herself.  
"Oh, well," James said. "She wasn't my type anyway." He looked around the dance floor and his eyes lit up. "Looks like Remus is getting on well with that Ravenclaw girl anyway."  
"Yeah. He went off with her for one dance and ended up staying with her for three."  
James laughed, and was about to say something when an announce announcement cut him off.  
"This is the last song for tonight," the leader of the band announced. "Hope you had a very enjoyable evening folks."  
James turned to look at Lily. "Do you want to dance?" he asked her. "Just for this last song, I mean."  
Lily smiled at him. "Okay," she said, and allowed James to lead her out onto the dance floor.  
Once there, his arms went around her waist, and hers around his neck. Lily was a good bit shorter than James, but her arms seemed to fit around his neck perfectly, as if they had been made to go there, Lily thought to herself dreamily.  
The band struck up a slow song, and Lily realized with a jolt, that it was a Muggle one. She could feel her green eyes burning into James' brown ones as the band played on:  
  
"Sometimes the snow comes down in June,  
Sometimes the sun goes round the moon.  
I see the passion in your eyes,  
Somehow it's all a big surprise.  
  
'Cause there was a time when all I did was wish  
You'd tell me this was love.  
It's not the way I hoped, or how I planned,  
But somehow, it's enough.  
  
And now we're standing face to face.  
Isn't this world a crazy place?  
Just when I thought the chance had past  
You go and save the best for last  
  
So many nights you came to me  
When some silly girl had set you free  
You wondered how you'd make it through  
I wondered what was wrong with you  
  
'Cause how could you give your love to someone else  
And share your dreams with me?  
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for  
Is the one thing you can't see  
  
So now we're standing face to face  
Isn't this world a crazy place?  
Just when I thought the chance had past  
You go and save the best for last.  
  
You went and saved the best for last."  
  
The song ended and everyone applauded. Lily pulled away from James reluctantly. Why couldn't the song have gone for just that extra little bit longer?  
"Everyone, back to your common rooms!" Professor McGonagall called out.  
James looked at her. "Want to me to walk you back?"  
Lily glanced over the heads of all the others' in the Great Hall and saw Remus asking exactly the same thing to the Ravenclaw girl. "Yeah, okay."  
The two of them trooped up the stairs. Neither of them had had the best time at the ball.  
"At least Remus got a new girlfriend," Lily pointed out as they climbed through the hole in the common room.  
"So did Sirius," said James glumly.  
"Oh, James," Lily said with a sigh. She gave him a hug. "If she was just using you then she probably wasn't worth it anyway."  
"S'pose not," James said, though he still looked depressed. He forced a smile. "Guess I'll just have to keep looking... she's gotta be out there somewhere."  
Or maybe just right in front of you, Lily thought privetly. "Of course she is," she said instead. "You go off to bed now. You look tired."  
"Yeah, I think I will," James said yawning. "G'night, Lily."  
"Good night." She watched as James went up the spiral staircase to the boys dormitory. Then she flopped down into an armchair so she could think about the dance they had just had in peace.  
A few minutes later, though, Sirius crawled through the entrance hole and flopped down next to her. Lily looked at him.  
"Where's Rhiannon Dumsh?" she asked.  
"I walked her back to her common room," Sirius said. He chuckled. "She's cute."  
"So you're going to keep going out with her even though James has got a crush on her?"  
"Nah. She's not my type. A bit too clingy of you ask me."  
"You think?"  
"Yeah. Not James' type either." He yawned and got up. "I'm going to bed now."  
"Well, good night," said Lily, not moving from the armchair. She wanted to think of James for just a bit longer.  
"Yeah. 'Night," Sirius said. Suddenly he leaned down over the back of her armchair to whisper in her ear. "By the way, I saw you dancing just before. You and James make a very cute couple." He laughed as Lily turned red, and ran up the stairs before she could kill him.  
*****  
James was sitting along in Arithmancy the next day when a Ravenclaw prefect he didn't know suddenly sat next to him.  
"Hello, James," she purred.  
James blinked at her. "Hello..." his voice trailed off.  
The girl laughed. "I'm sorry. We haven't been introduced yet, have we? My name is Felicity. Felicity Clearwater." She stuck out her hand and James shook it, still staring at her.  
She was very pretty, he decided. Curly black hair and dark eyes. A mysterious air around her.  
Felicity suddenly leaned close to him. "I've been watching you, James Potter," she said, "And I was wondering... would you like to go on a little date with me tomorrow night? Just a walk around the lake so we can get to know each other a little better."  
Her hand was on his arm now. James looked at his arm and quickly moved it away. Felicity's smile grew slightly wider. "Come on, James," she coaxed. "Just for a little while..."  
James supposed it couldn't hurt. "Okay," he said. "I'll meet you at the entrance hall at about seven thirty tonight then."  
"Good," Felicity said. She got up. "I'll see you there then."  
"See you," James said as she left to sit next to her friends.  
Sirius sat down next to him. "Who was that?" he asked.  
"Oh, just this girl," James said. Somehow, he didn't really feel like talking about her, so he busied himself with his Arithmancy book so that he didn't have to answer any more questions.  
*****  
James looked at his watch. Almost time for the lesson to end. Five... four... three...two... BRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
He grabbed his books, headed out the door, and was going up a stair case when he suddenly bumped into Lily. Her face brightened when she saw him.  
"Hi, James," she said. "Up for a game of wizarding chess tonight? I've thought of three new moves nobody else has thought of so--"  
"Um, actually, I can't," James said.  
"Why not?" Lily asked, looking disappointed.  
"I've got a date tonight," he said. He wondered why he felt so odd explaining this to Lily. His stomach was in knots, it felt almost like... guilt. But why should he feel guilty?  
Lily's smile faltered for a moment, but then it was back. "Oh... maybe some other time then?"  
"Maybe," James said. He began to head back up the stairs when Lily called up to him.  
"James?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Who are you going with?"  
"Oh, Felicity. Felicity Clearwater."  
"Oh." Lily nodded and ran the rest of the way down the stairs. James had the sudden urge to go down after her. He shook his head.  
Potter, you are losing it.  
*****  
Genevieve walked up the stairs to her dorm, feeling depressed. It was her birthday, and nobody seemed to have remembered it. Sighing, she pushed open the door, flicked on the light, and suddenly--  
"Surprise!" Everyone in her dorm was there, grinning and wearing party hats. The room had been decorated with lots of streamers and balloons and there was a pile of presents on her bed for her. Genevieve raised her hands up to her face in shock.  
"Happy birthday!" Lily said, running over to give her a hug. Sara hurried over to put a party had on her head they pushed her into the center of the room. Ivory Patil took a picture.  
"I thought you'd all forgotten!" Genevieve said when she'd recovered.  
"Of course not," Lily laughed. She led her over to the bed. "You'd better get down to some present opening, girl!"  
Lily was having so much fun, laughing and dancing around on the beds that she could almost forget that James was off with another girl that night.  
Almost, she thought to herself. He was probably holding hands with her right now, probably kissing her and--  
"Think fast!" someone yelled. The next minute a pillow had hit her in the face. This action was followed by a fast a furious pillow fight which lasted until all five girls collapsed on the floor exhausted.  
"Tell you what this party needs?" Sara said, suddenly getting up. "Some food." She picked up some parchment and tore it into five pieces. "Short straw goes down to the kitchen."  
They all picked a straw. Lily got the short one.  
"Get some cakes!" Genevieve called out after her.  
"And cookies!" Sara said.  
"And chocolate!" Ivory said.  
"And don't forget drinks!" Persephone Miola said.  
"Okay," Lily said and she left the room.  
She climbed out of the portrait hole and made her way downstairs to the kitchens, making sure she kept close to the shadows.  
Much to her disgust, she still couldn't stop thinking about James and Felicity Clearwater.  
Get off him, Lil, she told herself. He's already made it clear that he doesn't feel the same way about you.  
So why do keep torturing yourself about him?  
*****  
James saw that the castle was in sight again.  
Thank God! he thought to himself. He doubted he could last much longer with Felicity Clearwater clinging to his arm.  
Finally, they were in the entrance hall. James turned to look at Felicity.  
"Well... goodnight," he said, trying to edge away from her. But she clung onto his arm even tighter.  
"Oh, James," she said. "If it's not too much trouble... could you walk me back to my common room? Please?"  
"Can't you go yourself?" James asked, looking desperately at the stairs and wondering if he would ever get up there. Felicity laughed.  
"Of course," she said. "But it would be so much better if you could take me... the castle is a bit frightening at night."  
James sighed. "Okay," he said. Felicity beamed up at him.  
"Good!" she said. They began to make their way down a corridor, Felicity still clutching his arm.  
I bet Lily wouldn't be afraid of the dark, James found himself thinking. Then he shook himself. Where had that come from?  
They reached the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room at last. Felicity looked up at him, her eyes suddenly very close to his face. Way too close.  
"Good night, James," she said breathily.  
"Uh... goodnight," he said, trying to edge away from her.  
Felicity didn't seem to notice. She suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck, and before James could do anything, her lips had found his and she was kissing him like there was no tomorrow.  
*****  
Lily walked down the stairs. She was nearly at the kitchens now. She was about to round the corner when she stopped. There were noises coming from near the Ravenclaw common room. It was unmistakably the sound of kissing.  
She doubled back for a bit, listening for the noises. Maybe it's Remus and his new girlfriend, she thought to herself grinning. Or maybe it's Sirius and that pretty prefect I've seen around... or maybe it's Peter. She almost cracked up at the thought of him ever kissing a girl.  
She stuck her head around the corner to see who it was. And her jaw dropped.  
Standing just two meters away from her was James Potter. And he was joined to the lip with Felicity Clearwater.  
She just stood there, staring at them. Felicity had her arms wrapped around his neck and was kissing him hard... Lily wondered how he could even breath with her so close to him. But he didn't seem to mind at all... he seemed to be enjoying it even!  
Lily wondered quickly about what she should do. Run away? Hide? Stand here and watch? Keep going to the kitchens? But before she could even make her mind, James broke apart from the girl and saw her.  
"Lily?" he said. Lily had no choice but to step out of the shadows.  
"Um... hello," she said, giving them both a very forced smile. "I was just going down to the kitchens... Genevieve's surprise party, you know." And she ran off down the corridor.  
She ran into the kitchens and leaned back against the wall, breathing hard. She had stubbed her toe on the way and it was hurting her.  
"Damn thing!" she said, nursing it.  
But she knew it wasn't doing any good. The real hurt was coming from somewhere deep inside.  
*****  
James had finally gotten rid of Felicity and was hurrying down the corridor after Lily. He didn't know why he felt so guilty, but he did. He didn't even like Felicity, not at all.  
So, James Potter, a little voice inside his head said. Why is that so important you have to go running down a corridor in the middle of the night to tell Lily?  
James decided to ignore the little voice, barged on into the kitchen and turned on the light.  
Lily was bent down near a cupboard, piling biscuits into a little bag.  
"Lily?" he said hesitantly.  
Lily glanced round at him. "Oh, hello," she said in an oddly strained voice. Her smile seemed forced, not at all like the amiable, affectionate one she usually wore. "What are you doing down here? Where's your Ravenclaw friend." She turned around and went back to stowing the biscuits away.  
"She's back in her dormitory," said James slowly. "She's just a friend you know. Just a friend." It seemed important to explain this to her somehow. "I didn't like her that much anyway."  
"Another one down?" Lily said. "Not good enough for the great James Potter, is she?"  
James waited for her usual perpetual grin that usually took back the hurt in any of the words she might have said, but it didn't come.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked instead.  
"Oh, come on, James," she snapped. "You take a girl out once and never want to look at her again! Look at Harriet and Chu and Rhiannon, and now Felicity!"  
"I didn't dump Rhiannon, she dumped me," said James, starting to get angry. "And what would you know about being asked out by boys anyway?"  
The second the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. Lily turned away with a look James rarely saw on her face: she was hurt.  
"That was really mean, James," she said, putting the biscuits back in the cupboard and turning around. "I know I'm not pretty. You don't have to rub it in."  
"Oh, Lily, you are pretty. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."  
He tried to move closer to her, to give her a hug but she moved away. Lots of people said she was pretty, but she didn't believe them. How could she? All she saw when she looked in the mirror was that horrible red hair she had.  
"I have to get back to my dormitory," she muttered, pushing past him, but he quickly blocked the exit.  
"Lily, what's wrong?"  
"Nothing," she snapped, trying to get past him. "Now let me through!"  
"Not until you tell what's wrong," James said.  
"JUST LET ME THROUGH, POTTER!" she yelled.  
"No!" James yelled back. "Not unless you tell me what's wrong!"  
"You want to know what's wrong?" Lily yelled. "Fine, I'll tell you what's wrong. My problem is this: I'm in love with you, James! Don't you realize, don't you get it?" Tears were running down her face now. "All this time, you've been asking girls out on dates to Hogsmeade and-- and to God knows where! But never looked twice at me! You only saw me as a friend." She began to whisper. "And all that time I loved you, James. And you didn't notice. You didn't care. You only loved other girls, and you didn't once look at me. Now just let me through," she said, and pushed past him.  
James just stood their, stunned. So that was why Lily had been acting so strange lately.  
Oh. My. God.  
He had really done it this time.  
*****  
"Well," said Sirius shaking his head. "You've really done it this time, Prongs."  
"I figured that," James said from underneath his pillow.  
Remus just stood there silently. He figured that this wasn't his part in the conversation and decided to stay quiet. Peter was still asleep. Frank Longbottom was in the hospital wing.  
"The thing is," Sirius continued. "If Lily's loved you all this time, why didn't she say anything in the first place?"  
"She didn't want to," Remus said. "Because James always seemed to interested in other girls."  
Both Sirius and James stared at him. "You already knew?" James asked.  
"Yeah. She told me. Just before the ball."  
James moaned. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because she didn't want me to. I figured I should just keep it quiet," Remus said.  
"Your options are this, Prongs," Sirius said. He began ticking them off on his fingers. "A) Never talk to Lily again and both of you spend the rest of your lives avoiding each other. B) Tell her you just want to be friends, like before. That's if she wants to. C) Tell her you love her and start going out as a couple."  
James looked up from his pillows. "But I don't."  
"Don't what?"  
"Don't love her... well, not in the way she loves me anyway."  
Sirius snorted. "Don't give me that, James. I saw the way you were looking at her when you two were dancing at the ball. You do love her, James."  
"Option B sounds best," James said obstinately.  
"Option C!" Sirius said glaring at him. James looked at Remus.  
"What do you think, Remus?" he said.  
He thought for a moment. "C," he said.  
James moaned again and buried his head in his pillows.  
"Look, James," said Remus gently. "Do you love Lily, or not?"  
James thought for a moment. Lily was definitely a good friend, she was always there to listen to him, no matter what.... then there was the fact that she was beautiful, he had always thought that since the first time he had laid eyes on her. And lately, she had been having some sort of strange affect on him, making his palms sweat and his stomach go funny...  
Oh, God. He had been in love with her all along.  
"Which just goes to show," Sirius said and James rolled off the bed in a half-hearted attempt to kill himself, "that I'm right and you're wrong."  
*****  
Lily had been avoiding him. James realized this when he found that he hadn't seen her for nearly all of his classes. He had asked her friends about it, but they had said that Lily didn't want to see him, and that just made James' heart ache even more.  
Why, he thought furiously, didn't I realize I was in love with her before?  
Those other girls meant nothing to him... it was Lily he had loved all along. And now it was probably too late to make things better again.  
Finally, he glimpsed her half way through dinner. She looked so sad, he thought. So sad and so beautiful.  
She suddenly got up to leave, and James quickly jumped up, knocking his pumpkin juice onto Sirius. He ignored this and raced off after Lily.  
He saw her walking in the entrance hall. "Lily!" he called. Lily turned around and saw him, then began walking faster.  
"Lily!" he called again. He caught up to her and grabbed her sleeve. "I need to talk to you."  
"I don't want to talk to you," she said, pulling away from him. She turned around and marched outside. James followed her.  
"Please," he panted as he ran after her. "Just for a second... come on, Lil, you have to hear me out."  
"I told you, I don't want to speak to you," she said, walking faster.  
"Just listen!" He grabbed Lily and wrestled her to the ground. Lily looked at him furiously, but he was holding her down and there wasn't exactly a lot she could do about it.  
"What do you want, Potter?" she snapped.  
"I just need to talk to you," he said. "About last night." Lily didn't say anything. So James took a deep breath and went on. "You're such a good friend, Lil. And I never thought of you as anything but that. And then last night... when you told me you loved me (Lily turned red but James seemed not to notice.) I realized something, Lil. I realized why I didn't think much of all those girls I went out with."  
"What?" Lily snapped, trying to wriggle away from him. "They weren't good enough for you?"  
"No." James gently cupped her face in his hands. "I was looking of love, Lil. But I couldn't find it. And that was because I didn't realize I already had it."   
He gently lowered his face to hers and kissed her.   
When they broke apart, James realized that Lily was crying.  
"What's wrong?" he said in alarm.  
Lily wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. "Nothing," she said. Suddenly she laughed. "I'm just so happy."  
James grinned and kissed her again, and then was when Lily knew that everything was going to be okay, all because James loved her.  
*****  
"Ow! I can't see."  
"Neither can I."  
"Move over."  
"You move over!"  
Sirius, Remus, Genevieve and Sara were in the Astronomy tower. Remus was on Sirius' shoulders and Genevieve was on Sara's. Both of them were trying to look out the window at Lily and James.  
"What's happening?" Sirius asked them.  
"Well, James is chasing after James," Remus said. "He's got her now, he's pulled her down on the grass and now their talking. She still looks mad..." he bit his lip. "No, wait! Now James has got his arm around her. He's lowering his face towards hers and--"  
"Awwwwwwwww," both he and Genevieve said at the same time.   
"What?" Sirius said.   
"They're kissing."  
"What? Let me see!"  
Sirius was about to push Remus off his shoulders when suddenly the door opened and a voice said, "What are you four doing in here?"  
Startled, the four of them toppled over in a heap on the ground. Professor McGonagall was standing over them, looking furious.  
"You're meant to be in your common rooms," she said. "What are you doing here?"  
Everyone looked at Sirius. "Umm.... looking at the stars?" he suggested.   
Professor McGonagall snorted. "A likely story," she said. "Up to more trouble, no doubt. In my office. Now."   
The four of them untangled themselves and trooped off to her office. Professor McGonagall was about to follow suit when she looked at the window and hesitated. What had been so interesting out there?  
Taking care that no one was watching, she took a stack of books and stood on them to see.   
"Well, well, well," she murmured to herself as she looked out the window. "James and Lily. Who would have thought?"  
Suddenly, she felt the entire stack of books under her wobble. She toppled off, falling into a table and knocking everything of it.   
Peeves swooped above her, cackling.  
"PEEVES!" she roared. She jumped up and ran after that wretched poltergeist.  
This time, he's really going to pay, she thought to herself furiously as she tried to hunt him down.  
  
  
A/N: Okay! That is the end of another loooooooooong fic from me. I don't think I've ever written one as long as this before! It's a NEW RECORD!!!!!!! *Punches the air and dances around the room*  
Anyway, thank you for reading. If you made it this far then I LOVE YOU! Please review.  
Also I'm sorry if I've made any mistakes or whatever. Really sorry.  
  
Disclaimer: Is the obvious. Nearly everyone belongs to JK except Lily's friends and some of the professors i think.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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